Dear Diary,
Happy New Year! Starting of this 2023 seems not so good for my mood. I don't know why, but feel something is incomplete. Maybe I just overthinking, maybe at this age, I no longer strong enough to control my mind.
Today I cooked lunch for my husband, rice, roasted chicken and butter milk with some vegetables. Unfortunately, the butter milk spilled over her car's cushion. He babbled and sound like he regret bringing it and I don't know why out of sudden, my tears drop. I hate being too sensitive. I wasn't like this before. Maybe my age, my situation make me fragile inside.
Oh, if Allah's will, my parents and my sister will perform Umrah on this Syawal. I wanna go with my parents, I have enough money, just for the fee but my husband still don't have the money. He permits me to go but I know he wishes for me to go with him, one day, God Knows when. I feel heavy at heart but as a wife, I must follow my husband.
Oh Allah, thank you for the past years and thank you for another opportunity. I pray that this year brings me more happiness and tranquility, become a better muslimah in every aspects of life, brings me more success and money so that I can make people that I love happy. I hope I become stronger to flow together with the tide of life.